�uYeah, buddy, give me a bowl of that there cous-cous, and a jug of apple juice.�v

�uThat ain't cous-cous, buddy�v the warden said, smirking.

�uRice�v Croon a bit embarrassed, �uyeah, it's obviously rice. Just whack some shrimp sauce on it and I'll be dandy.�v

Down the line, some prisoners started sniggering. �uLook dude�v the warden said �uI don't know what you're used to, but this fucking ain't Acapulco Club Med. We don't have cous-cous, and we don't have five different types of rice. What we do serve here is slop. So, cowboy, do you want some slop? Or shall I dunk your fucking head in it?�v

�uNah, no slop�v Croon said. �uJust pour me a glass of apple juice.�v

�uIt ain't apple juice, son. It's mush.�v

�uYeah, whatever.�v Croon looked over his shoulder quickly, hoping Thr0wback had caught the performance. Yes! there he was, regarding Croon with quiet contempt from the far side of the cafeteria. Croon sat a few tables downwind, next to a few thugs dressed as mafia mobsters. (The American Government had recently banned prison uniforms.)

�uHey ho silver�v one of the fellows said, a voice on him like Al Pacino. �uI haven't seen you before. What'd you hold up a mail train or something?�v

The mobsters broke into boisterous laughter. �uNah�v another badster said �uhe shot the sheriff, but he forgot to shoot the deputy!�v

Heathens, Croon thought - their simulations were cruder than bat-shit. Snubbing them, he glanced up the cafeteria TV, which by queer coincidence was playing an animated episode of �uThe Planet of the Apes�v (it was a queer coincidence because Thr0wback looked like he belonged in the cast). Three apes were standing on a river bank, with syruppy 1970s music mounting in the background. One of the apes said: �uThere seems to have been quite a bit of activity at the river bank, general.�v

To which the general replied: �uWhat would the humanoids be doing at the river bank? They're too stupid to swim. Wait a minute... rafts! The humanoids must have somehow understood to chop down those trees to build rafts. They're trying to escape via the river. After them! after them!�v

Big Al seized Croon by the shoulder, said: �uI asked what you're in here for!�v Conversations stopped all around the crowded and scuffed-up room. Thr0wback looked over, kind of nonchalantly.

�uSir�v the ape underling said: �uI believe we must first secure permission from the Council of Elders for this type of operation.�v

�uRat on the Council of Elders!�v the general said. �uThey're nothing but a bunch of old creaking apes! If it wasn't for them I would have rid us of the humanoid problem years ago.�v

Like a kung fu reflex, he couldn't even control it, Croon's elbow came up and caught the overhang of Pacino's food tray. Cous-cous or whatever the fuck it was splattered all over the aspirant gangsters. Pacino went for an under-the-table kick but the guards were on him like sticky rice, after a bit of a scuffle hauled him off for a beating out the back.

Croon whistled softly, would have smirked if there weren't about 40 pairs of hostile eyes fixed on him. Thr0wback eyed him suspiciously.

Just then another group of guards came gunning for Croon. Unlike Pacino, he surrendered with aplomb. On his way out he flashed Thr0wback an unlikely smile. �uNo prison in the world can hold me�v he said.

That's where PprtHoles came in handy!