h i n d u - d i v o r c e DIVORCE ---- A Growing Phenomenon MUSLIM MEN IN INDIA NEED ONLY SAY "I REPUDIATE YOU" THREE TIMES TO GET DIVORCED FROM THEIR WIVES. Obviously, things are not so easy for Hindus. That said, there has been a rise in the phenomenon of divorce in recent years, as the Huffington Post reported in 2011. "Just a decade ago, divorce was a dirty word in socially conservative India," the Post wrote. "The fear of social isolation, a sense of duty to extended families – who likely arranged the marriage in the first place – and financial dependence put nearly unbearable pressure on couples to stay together." How things have changed! the divorce rate in India now stands at around one per cent, while which is extremely low on the global scale, is nonetheless a lot higher than it used to be. Divorce rates in metros have doubled in as little as five years, while in the conservative Punjab, the rate is an astonishing 150 per cent (source Divorce in India.) I am sure that was what they were thinking. You might be thinking: "I don't want to betray her, and I don't want to let my family down!" Besides, I don't need to pay for sex." And one of the porters replied: "She's in Japan, you're here!" So stop being such a pussy, and join us up there sowing some wild oats. That must have been what they were thinking, I am sure of it. Since you're going to be paying for all us to get our rocks off, you might as well partake in the pleasures too! But I stood my ground, and waited it out in the taxi in the sari stained streets, Bollywood music blaring from the tape deck. One moment of regret, when I went upstairs to check up on the guys: one of the girls up there was really cute! I had given up my chance of a little fun with her, but I have my principles, and I can't budge, even when it is to my detriment. I am stubborn like that, much to the chagrin of my friends in India, Indonesia, and I am sure all the buddies I am going to have in Indochina in the coming years. What can you do: that is my nature. But less about me, and more about them, those Indian hotel staff from the Hotel Shanti: Now these blokes were all good Hindus, and some of them doubtless were married. Where does Hinduism stand on cheating on your girlfriends or wives, or frequenting red light districts, whether they be in Delhi or Mumbai? What do the scriptures say about adultery (to some the ultimate betrayal)? What is the Hindu view of sex before marriage and online dating and all these other modern trends? A good question is worth a hundred bland answers, as someone famous may have said at some time. But keeping it to the topic of adultery for the time's being, here are some perspectives: DIVORCE IN THE CLASSICS ---- The Manu Smriti and Other Texts. It has been said by some that there is no concept of divorce in Hinduism. They consider that it would lead to confusion of castes, degradation of family values and social disorder. In olden days women from upper castes were barred from moving in society." "As I mentioned in one of the earlier sawaal answers," wrote a poster on ibibo Sawaal Expert Answers, "Hinduism never considered marrying more than one woman a sin or adulterous at any point of time... I won't call Hinduism adulterous. The concept of adultery was a bit different from as we understand in Christian traditions. One man could marry as many women who were not wedded to any other male. It was believed that if they were all devoted to him then it did not matter, how many he married as long as he was financially strong and able to maintain them and physically healthy to give all of them conjugal pleasure without displeasing any or showing partiality to any. In this context I would like to narrate the story of the moon god who married the 64 starlet daughters of a certain king..." From Hinduism Exposed: "Indra is the head of all gods. Amarawati was his celestial residence. Arjun was born to Indra as a result of his clandestine adultery with Pandu's wife, he had no hesitation in committing adultery with the wives of other men. One day when Indra saw Ruchi, the beautiful wife of Devasarma, he became extremely passionate and wanted to seduce her. But Ruchi chased Indra out ,and he had to go away disappointed..." "View #2 "Is it frobidden? - No, and it would be "playing God" to say that it is since Vishnu Himself never forbade it in the Vedas or in any other Scripture. " No because it is fulfilling the physical need for sex through a legitimate way, rather than an illegitimate way (such as rape, incest, fornication, adultery, etc.). The other legitimate way will be to have the "real thing" with your wife or husband (homosexuality isn't forbidden, either). "The reasons behind this view - The body builds up sexual tension because the body isn't fulfilling its physical need for sex. To release this tension in a legitimate way other than sex with your spouse, you masturbate. The reason why semen is ejaculated (in males) is because the body needs to release this semen which is building up, and this is how it does it. You aren't "tricking your body" as others say. "I follow View #1 (while also believing in the reasons behind both views) because of what Lord Vishnu says in both the Garuda Purana and in the Bhagavad Gita, and that is to deny your senses in favor of Bhakti, or devotion, to Lord Vishnu..." One of these stages is the life of the celibate student (Brahma Charya), which precedes the stage of the married householder (Grihasta). Celibacy is considered the appropriate behavior for both male and female students (or unmarried singles who have left school). A person receives good Karma if he follows the stages of life (four Ashramas). " IS DIVORCE BAD KARMA? ---- The Manu Smriti and Other Texts. American clairvoyant Edgar Cayce claimed that every marriage was "an episode of a story begun long before." They consider that it would lead to confusion of castes, degradation of family values and social disorder. While Cayce frequently counseled against divorce, his readings approved of it in certain circumstances, for example when partners had learnt the karmic lesson of the marriage. I kind of like this idea: people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, or to help us develop a side of our nature. When the lesson is learnt, it may come time for the relationship to end, as gracefully as possible. Thus, we open ourselves to the next chapter of our life. Perhaps this reflects my "drifter" outlook on life; there are plenty of others who crave for stability, even eternity. This is the marriage is for seven lifetimes brigade. The Shiv Ling, depicted in consummate union with the Yoni ( vulva ) of Shakti, is representative of the most wonderful and miraculous feature of life itself. What distinguishes life from non-life, after all? Above all else, the ability to reproduce its own kind. If we are to revere the concept that life itself is sacred- which even the Christians claim to believe- why is the most characteristic feature of life, the act of progenition, any less sacred? It is not only sex we are talking about here. INSULAR VERSUS VISITORS ---- Is India Changing Sides? In his books ethnopsychologist William A. Therivel describes how the unity or lack of it in a civilization's political power profoundly influences the psychology of those who live in it. In societies where power is absolute, such as China, individuals become fatalistic, conformist, and group-centric. Therivel calls natives of such a civilization insulars, and he claims that they are forced to bond into strong family units, as a retreat and protection from the oppressive tyranny which bears constantly down upon them, like a malignant sun. Citizens of societies where power is fractured, like western Europe and North America, are more independent and self-directed, are less afraid of being crushed for speaking their mind, and place lesser value on clan and family. Therivel calls such folk the visitors, and they are the movers and shakers of the world today, the Bill Gates and the Steve Jobs (how many famous Japanese can you think of? is that not proof that Japan is a group-centric society, where "the nail that sticks out is hammered in", as their old saying goes?) In an insular society, "The family must be united; the family must be the secure haven where each can take off the hated mask of smiling obedience. The children must know that they can count on their parents, regardless of whatever happens to them. The father in particular--more exposed to the boss--must count on total fidelity and obedience from wife and children. This is imperative for survival. Then, if at all possible, the father and mother will search for the alliance of an extended family or of the clan. In a country under unity of power no one is ever sure of his position, because every power holder will have a tyrant above him in a chain that leads to the ultimate power holder, say the emperor, who in turn can never feel safe because too many vie for his power. To protect himself, every power holder, from the supreme ruler down to the father, will preach the virtues of fidelity, of "knowing one's place," of complete obedience and love. The emperor or pope or clan head will present himself as "father," and the father will demand to be the emperor of his family. " "Now. My friend Philip was actually horrified, appalled, revolted by the very idea that we heathens could worship something such as a penis. The REALLY interesting question is, WHY? " GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE ---- A Case Study. According to a court ruling, irretrievable breakdown is not a ground for divorce in India. HOW TO GET A DIVORCE IN INDIA ---- The Manu Smriti and Other Texts. ut later I came to know he slept with another girl who he met in a disco when I asked him about it at first he accepted and when he saw that I was about to cry he said he dint and was just joking, I trusted him again,during the entire relationship he wounded me many times and I became a fool back of a man who did all the shit in this world and always tried to fool me,he wounded me lot of times emotionally and again used to say sorry , On december12th 2008,he asked me will u marry me !i accepted offcourse for I felt that tmy efforts are working out finally,from that day he started being very loving It was almost a dream come true he changed a lot almost beautifully taking care of me,but the tensions I face dpreviously throwed me in to a dreadful damage of 2 nerves in my brain and now im often suffering from nose bleeding because of that,he started being very caring towards me , I felt nice about that and dint feel bad for being sick.even though it was all because of him, Yesterday he told me about his past completely that he not only slept with lots of girls not only before our relationship but even after that ,and when he slept with me he was not a virgin than I felt really wounded bcoz I accepted everything in him but unnecessarily he was lying to me just to make me sleep with him,and the girl from the disco,he also had sex with her even after being in a commitment with me ,he cheated on me,but he is saying that he did this before he proposed me for marrieage and since he proposed me he never did that and never ever thought about it but now im not able to trust him any more ,I said I love him still but seriously I donft think I love him any more but cant walk out of this relation ship as I ruined my self enough ,will the rest of my life will be a compromise, or is he true about what he is saying?i donft know and donft understand even, I want my love to survive,I wana be happy,but I cant think of another man in my life because I cant rust anyone ever,I started hating things around me, I lost my respect,my pride,my virginity,my happiness,my love ,my health everything what else is left in my life I donft know what to do with my life ,what to do with my love Pls suggest me what to do GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE ---- A Case Study. Hinduism in general frowns upon divorce. However, there are grounds where it is permissible, such as cruelty. Adultery may be another. This goddess, however, can provide devotees with a very loving and intimate bond, in spite of her fearful appearance. In this relationship, the worshipper becomes a child and Kali assumes the form of the ever-caring mother. I used to live with an American girl who worshipped Kali, and she faithfully wore a skull necklace wherever she went. Lord Vishwakarma is the architect's god and the presiding deity of all craftsmen. Son of Brahma, he is the divine draftsman of the whole universe, and the official builder of all the gods' palaces. Vishwakarma is also the designer of all the flying chariots of the gods, and all their weapons. SEPARATION AGREEMENTS ---- An Alternative to Divorce. SEPARATION AGREEMENTS ---- An Alternative to Divorce. DOUBLE AAAA FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS PROVIDES AN INTERESTING COMPARISON BETWEEN ADULTERY IN HINDU AND ISLAMIC SCRIPTURES AT TOPIX: "Quran: You shall not commit adultery; it is a gross sin, and an evil behavior (Sura 17:32) "Islam totally forbids incest and adultery and it is a major sin and crime under Islamic law. "Hindu Scriptures Encourage Incest And Adultery: "LORD KRSNA'S FOOLISH DRUNKEN WIVES ARE READY TO COMMIT INCEST WITH HIS SON (SAMBA) Divorce Lawyers Mumbai. here in one neat episode: he misbehaves with them. Thus the destruction of the race of the Yadus (Yadavas) is blamed on Krsna's wives, on Krsna's son, and on the rage of Krsna himself: Narada came to Dvaraka to see Krsna. All the Yadu boys received him with respect, but Samba, proud of his young beauty and deluded by the fated, inevitable force of the curse, disregarded Narada. To teach Samba a lesson, Narada told Krsna that all of Krsna's sixteen thousand wives were in love with Samba. Samba (Krsna's son) was summoned, and the women, whose minds were blurred by wine, showed unmistakable signs of passion when Samba appeared. Furious, Krsna cursed them to be carried off by barbarians after his death, and he cursed Samba to be afflicted with leprosy. Therefore the women were carried away under the very eyes of Arjuna. Later, Samba remembered what had happened before, and as he was impelled by inevitable fate, he enraged the sage Durvasas and prompted the curse that destroyed his whole family.'" -- Samba Purana 3:6-55; Bhavisya Purana 1:72-73. "From Lord Indra to Lord Siva to Lord Rama to Lord Krsna, the characters & their families are utterly dysfunctional and sexually perverted..." "The ability to set up boundaries for the self. Self-control can be expanded into several different areas, ranging from respect to willpower. Self-control is therefore centered in the ability of a person to exert their will over the inhibitions of their body or self. People demonstrate great differences in their level of self-control. It can be affected because of illness and past experiences and it can be improved through the course of life through dedication and will power. "Masturbation - whether by a man or a woman, whether he/she is single or married - is normal. But in married life masturbation should not affect the joint sexual life. If your masturbation habit affects the married sexual life (partnership sexual life) then it is wrong for you. You have to decide if masturbation is ok with you and for the sexual satisfaction which is highly required in married life in order to concrete the relationship secure, sharing and the mutuality. Masturbation is definitely better than cheating. It is definitely not a sin. A lot of married men or women masturbate but they donft admit out of embarrassment or for privacy, but they do and there is nothing wrong with it. "If you can indulge you in more spiritual deeds then you will be able to control masturbation. Indulge in more sex with your partner. Give yourself and your partner more sexual satisfaction in regular. Avoid loneliness. You masturbate because your body and mind need more sexual pleasure and its release than what you are getting from partnership sex. So this cannot be considered as immoral or as a sin or cheating your partner. But your act do not affect the perfection of mutual sexual life that highly required to maintain in married life. " The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 came into existence, eight years after the independence of the country. Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act deals with the grounds on which the parties can seek a decree of divorce from a competent court having jurisdiction to entertain such petition. Divorce: In the literal sense "divorce" means a legal separation of two persons of the opposite sex who desire to respect and honour each other. Shakespeare expresses the term in "The comedy of errors", "And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring, And break it with a deep divorcing vow?" Grounds for Divorce: Following are the grounds under which either of the parties are entitled to seek a decree of divorce under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955: 1. Adultery 2. Cruelty 3. Desertion 4. Conversion or Change of religion 5. Insanity 6. Leprosy 7. Venereal disease 8. Renunciation of World 9. Presumption of death 10. Non-resumption of cohabitation after passing a decree for judicial separation 11. Non-resumption of cohabitation after passing of a decree for restitution of conjugal rights. Adultery: According to H. L. Mencheh, adultery in the literal sense means "an application of democracy to love". Adultery means the offence of incontinence by married persons. DIVORCE UNDER ISLAMIC LAW ---- An Alternative to Divorce. SEPARATION AGREEMENTS ---- An Alternative to Divorce. DOUBLE AAAA FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS PROVIDES AN INTERESTING COMPARISON BETWEEN ADULTERY IN HINDU AND ISLAMIC SCRIPTURES AT TOPIX: "Quran: You shall not commit adultery; it is a gross sin, and an evil behavior (Sura 17:32) Islamic law recognises six kinds of divorce: Talaq, Talaq bu Tafweez, Kula and Mubaraat, Illah, Zibar and Lian. Talaq confers on Muslim husband the privilege of being able to discard his wife whenever he chooses to do so for reasons good, bad or indifferent indeed for no reason at all. Talaq-i-Tufeez is the exercise of the right of divorce by the wife by virtue of the power delegated to her husband at the time of marriage or even thereafter, Kula and Maturate are two forms of dissolution of marriage by consent. It is thus a kind of divorce by mutual consent. Illah is a constructive divorce in which the husband swears not to have sexual intercourse with his wife for 4 months and abstains from doing so. Zihar is a mode of divorce in which the husband compares his wife with his mother or any other female within prohibited degree. Lian is a divorce in which there is imputation of adultery to the wife by the husband and the wife is entitled to file a suit for dissolution of marriage on the false charge of adultery. 2. By evidence as to non-access and birth of a child 3. By evidence of visits to brothels 4. By contracting venereal diseases 5. Confession and admission to parties; and 6. Preponderance of probability The first step is to learn about the many different gods and what they represent. The second step is to pray to them in some way and thus integrate some of their energies into your own life. Whether the Hindu gods are real beings or only Jungian archetypes, they can help you get more out of your own life. They are here to teach you a lesson. They have certainly taught me a lot, and I am grateful to them! Crowded World | Indian Hub | Hinduism | Hindu Thought | Hindu Divorce Contact the author Rob Sullivan at coderot@gmail.com. Copyright March 2012.