IN THE CENTRE OF MY WORLD, DEVOID OF ANY STIMULANTS, EXISTS THE COMFORT ZONE.
It is perhaps no surprise that being in bed feels like the safest place in the world. Sleep offers an escape from anxiety and in my dreams I can travel the world. Nonetheless, it is still possible to be anxious in bed. I've even had panic attacks there, although they were brought on by other factors... such as ingesting caffeine.
It goes without saying that anxiety affects both of the quality and quantity of sleep.
Levels of Anxiety Felt in Bed
1. Panic attack in bed, have to flee bed:
ANXIETY LEVEL: 3.5/5.
2. Panic attack in bed, face down panic, panic subsides. ANXIETY LEVEL: 3.2/5.
3. Panic attack in bed, ignore panic, panic subsides. PULSE: 105bpm. ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.9/5.
4. Cannot sleep due to anxiety. When I fall asleep, abruptly wake up: PULSE: 90bpm.
5. When I think about the world outside, anxious thoughts arise. PULSE: 85bpm. BLOOD PRESSURE: 180/80. ANXIETY LEVEL: 2.3/5.
6. While not particularly concerned about the world outside, I nonetheless find it difficult to sleep and stay asleep. PULSE: 80bpm. ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.4/5.
7. Troubled only when hearing noises from outside; able to fall asleep. ANXIETY LEVEL: 1.2/5.
8. Enjoy hearing soothing sounds from outside, like the rain.
9. Trace anxiety (irritability).
10. Trace anxiety (dizziness).
11. Euphoric type tinglings in the body. (January 2 2015)
Drinking strong coffee lifts pulse to 120bpm. Taking cocaine is said to increase pulse to 150bpm.
Taking medication does not seem to help, unless I use something like a benzodiazepines (which doctors are reluctant to prescribe.)
BASELINE ANXIETY
As of September 8, 2017, I can be outside 22.3km from home, for a short period of time.
These readings were taken at home over a prolonged period, and chart the decline of my baseline anxiety levels.
AUGUST 16 2014
15 Times Overexposed... 1.1.
16 Times Overexposed... 1.2.
TYPES OF ANXIETY EXPERIENCED OUTSIDE
1. Enjoy being outside.
WORKING AT HOME
Trying to sleep between a day of busy lessons on iTalki, I experience Type 4 disruptions, on March 1, 2015.
Close to panic on November 28, 2015 during lesson, 2nd of the day with 8 scheduled lessons, part of a 2-hour lesson block: washing machine on, Mum and Dad preparing food, reading and talking.
As of March 17, 2016, I realize that I have started sending text messages to Sam Evangelidis before or between classes, at Breezy.
On July 21, 2016, walking home from Lake Haven, on Goobarabrah Drive, scene looked real for seemingly the first time ever!
On August 7, 2016, with 3 iTalki lessons upcoming, listening to music, and having consumed 1.5 cans of VB, I feel inspired to appreciate the view of the lake from the dining room.
On September 13, 2016, I can feel a "medicated" effect when I wake up... probably due to Venlafaxine!
September 19, 2016: Second lesson in the garage.
December 15 2016: Enjoy the dimensions and atmosphere of the room while Mum talks noisily; 3 lessons to come!
April 24, 2017: Entranced by YouTube video while Dad is noisily emptying the washing machine: 6 lessons to come!
May 2, 2017: Anxiety about 2.0 while teaching 4 lessons in a noisy house, suffering Propranolol withdrawal.
April 12, 2018: Send text messages to Jason while waiting for appointment at Your Strengths, in Wyong.
May 17, 2018: Can look at scene 200m distant while eating lunch outside at the Halfway House, 6 lessons to come.
June 10, 2019: Pulse of 120bpm after drinking a Medium McMocha, perhaps desensitized by stomach flu; I have door open, TV on.
June 20, 2019: Pulse of 120bpm after drinking a Medium McMocha, perhaps desensitized by stomach flu; I have TV on, 2 lessons to come.
TYPES OF ANXIETY FELT NEAR HOME, OUTSIDE
x: (January 21/22 2015): Frequent reverie, appreciate the beauty of clouds.
y: (March 8 2015): First signs of lake de-derealisation noticed.
TYPES OF ANXIETY FELT NEAR HOME, OUTSIDE
x: (January 21/22 2015): Frequent reverie, appreciate the beauty of clouds.
y: (March 8 2015): First signs of lake de-derealisation noticed.
STAYING IN A HOTEL
As of March 9, 2016, I feel Type 5 anxiety lying in the bed at the Bridge View Motel, in Gorokan.
As of February 7, 2018, I feel Type 7 anxiety lying in the bed at the Grand Hotel, in Wyong.
TRACE ANXIETY
Irritability
Dizziness
Remember, before the Big Bang, my panic attacks all started from dizziness!
COMFORT BOUNDARY
During my 2015 stay at the Sun & Sea Motel at Noraville, I noticed that when I walked into the heart of Toukley, my background anxiety dropped significantly.
According to Dr Sturm after wearing the mobile blood pressure monitor for a day, my average BP during daytime hours was 157/100. At night, it dropped to 147/90. When I was visiting his office and with anxiety at about 2.2/5, my blood pressure soared to 200/120.
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By Robert Sullivan. Contact me by email: coderot@gmail.com. Visit my Google + profile.
phone: (0431) 749-185 (AUSTRALIA)